


After The Dark (There Will Be More)

by TheLostEmpath



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Kinda Dark, Post-Season/Series 03, Sad, Stiles Stilinski Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-13 16:56:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11764326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLostEmpath/pseuds/TheLostEmpath
Summary: Stiles thought that it was over, but he still remembers.





	After The Dark (There Will Be More)

There was still dark in him. The nogitsune was gone but there was still that same darkness he felt, lingering around him like a predator, cornering him until there was nowhere to hide. He'd thought, in those few precious moments after the nogitsune was gone, that that was it, that it had been a horrible nightmare but now it was finally over. But it wasn't. Allison was still dead and Stiles... Stiles was still broken. Thinking about it now, maybe he'd always been broken, maybe his mom had really been right, had seen the truth that even Stiles hadn't been able to see then. He still remembered how she had looked at him, like he was some kind of a freak, something lurking around and waiting for it's chance to attack.

And then he'd remember it all over again, he remembered turning the sword inside Scott, yelling for Chris Argent to shoot him, making Lydia scream and killing Allison and- oh god how he remembered, remembered everything that he was so eager to forget. But he couldn't forget, he didn't get the luxury of forgetting, not when he was responsible for it, not when he was a... a monster. Even though it hadn't been him and he wasn't to blame, but it had _still_ been him and, oh, how much he was to blame. None of them understood that, they didn't understand, that in the memories he had still been there, that he had felt his hands moving, twisting, but it wasn't him, but he was still there, could still feel the blood on his hands and the pleasure he, or maybe the nogitsune, it didn't matter, felt seeing and _feeling_ all that pain. It was intoxicating and like nothing he'd ever felt before and he'd liked it. He tried to tell himself that he didn't, but it wasn't enough, no matter how he denied it, he had still liked it, feeling the power, the fear, the pain, the pleasure flow through his veins, feeling strong for once, always being so small and skinny and little, weak Stiles, the little red running with the wolves, poking his nose where ever he could just to be a little more, be useful, to know things he had no business knowing, just for a chance that maybe one day he wouldn't be so goddamned  weak. The nogitsune had freed him of that, but it had brought nightmares and terror in its wake.  It wasn't worth it, hadn't been worth it, and he would do anything to go back to the time when being weak was his only problem.

Now the terror had already taken residence in him and he couldn't go back, he would always be like this, always be so, so very broken. And like a broken mirror, he thought darkly, he carried a bad omen with him.

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little scribble about Stiles after the Nogitsune that I wrote some time ago and am now ready to put out here. I left the end a little up to interpretation, but I thought it better that way.  
> I'm sorry if there are any problems with my grammar, English isn't my first language.
> 
> All characters belong to the creator(s) and owner(s) of Teen Wolf (MTV), I am merely borrowing them!
> 
> Leave a comment, if you have any questions or would like to point something out, about the tags (which I don't really have the hang of yet) or characterization or anything. Or, you know, just to say hi. Constructive criticism is always welcome!
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
